Anonymous Reframe Submission:
Please submit an issue or circumstance you feel stuck with. I’ll post it on the Once Upon an Upset Facebook page along with a reframe, and invite anyone else to also offer a reframe.
Any topic is welcome—relationship difficulties, unresolved upsets from the past, intrusive thoughts, dream interpretation, anything. And if you’re looking for specific kinds of support, you can also submit this kind of request too, and receive suggestions.
I have been so amazed by how reframes—different ways of looking at a problem—can shift how I feel about my circumstances and even shift how I feel about myself.
In a world where isolation is all too common and mental health supports are often too expensive and difficult to access, we can still support each other. Our life experiences are some of the most undervalued resources.
*Please understand that while reframes can be extremely useful, they are not a substitute for therapy or medical care. Reframes are suggestions that may or may not be appropriate for one’s particular context.
*Please be advised—Because of the number of submissions I’ve already received, it may take awhile to see your submission posted here and on Facebook. I’m so sorry for any inconvenience!
Read Anonymous Submissions:
REFRAME #7 — June 6, 2024
““I have been feeling “under attack” by my manager. I have worked with him for 3 years. And only felt this in the last 2 months. He always said my work was outstanding. And all in a sudden I felt he was critiquing me left and right.
He gave me a list to fix, I did it and then he would point on a different things. Like no ending.
I realized my ego is being triggered. Me being a perfectionist. Hardworking and proactive worker
But I also feel he is being unreasonable.He told me a few times my salary is higher than his.
I know he is hoping for a promotion but his boss left so looks like that is not happening.I like him as a manager. Have been for 3 yrs. But this is driving me crazy. So I would argue with him and that doesn’t make me happy. It longer a good relationship. Pls help me see a different perspective.”
REFRAME #6 — June 2, 2024
“Hi there! I need help with a reframe. Backstory, I feel like I’m in a slippery slope with my almost 13 year old. He doesn’t like to study & still does ok on quizzes and tests. If he would study, he would do better. Multiple times this last week, he kept putting off studying saying he was fine, it’s fine, I’ll do it later. Screens or just ‘I don’t want to’ were the priority. Only ended up giving about 15 minutes in study hall an hour before.
Comes home and says ‘I got 12 out of 15’ on my test & was upset with me bc I didn’t tell him good job. He thinks the least I could say is good job. I feel like you say good job to someone when they put effort into something. You get a good job when you try. I told him I am proud of him for so many things - but am stuck bc I don’t want him to think I’m too hard on him but I also want him to learn that success in life takes effort. He’s always been in advance classes and hasn’t ever had to try at sports - everything has all came naturally to date, so trying to teach effort & finding motivation now without being a ‘mean mom’.
Any reframe suggestions would be incredibly welcome! Many thanks!”
REFRAME #5 — April 8, 2024
“I am completely wrecked. My trusted friend and farm sitter of almost 20 years, ignored my horse’s colic symptoms and watched her suffer for two days until April died. The farm sitter was shocked to find her dead. We came home to a dead horse in our corral who had been there for two days, and our other horse being absolutely frantic. It’s been three weeks, and the farm sitter has not contacted me in any way. We are no longer Facebook or any other kind of friend. She’s just someone that I used to know. I don’t have the energy reserve to sustain any kind of anger or hate toward her. My horse suffered a horrible, agonizing death. That’s where my pain and anger are. This is such a deep betrayal of trust. I don’t even know what I would say to her as she seems to have no regrets or feelings of accountability. I no longer feel I can leave my farm because I can’t trust anyone to not let my animals die. April’s unnecessary death will haunt me forever.”
REFRAME #4 — April 7, 2024
“I worked really hard on a project that I wanted to share as a gift to my community. I was proud and excited. But within a few minutes after I posted it, some other guy in the community posted about how he came down with Covid and wanted to warn everyone he spent time with to watch out for symptoms, and a ton of people commented on that, and my share got buried. Now of course, I respect that he posted this and of course I care about the guy’s illness. But at the same time, I worked so hard to share this thing I created especially for the group, and now no one will even see it. I feel like a little kid with my reaction, of course. But nonetheless, I do get like this. And it’s not a fun feeling.”
REFRAME #3 — MARCH 26, 2024
“I don’t like leaving my house anymore if I don’t have to. On my days off work, I will even have groceries delivered so I don’t have to go anywhere and I do all my other shopping online. I am either at work, or I’m at home resting on the couch and rarely do anything else. I just like to relax at home with my dogs. I feel a little bad about this too. I used to like going out and doing things. I have 3 school aged kids and often have days off through the school week. What should I do?”
REFRAME #2 — MARCH 21, 2024
“My only child overdosed, now has a traumatic brain injury, and will permanently live in a nursing home. I’m divorced and have no family other than addicts. The father has been out of the picture for years.”
REFRAME #1 — MARCH 20, 2024
“No matter how much loving, kind and helpful I am to my family they always treat me with disrespect, ignore me for all the important discussions and treat me like a maid. I also feel that people give me less than I deserve. I have been working on my self worth but at times it hurts a lot.”