I see a lot of lists describing symptoms of people who lack executive functioning skills and the trouble they have with day-to-day tasks.
And though I get the importance of gaining these sorts of skills, what I rarely, if ever see balancing this conversation, are lists describing conceptual functioning skills or empathetic functioning skills.
Yeah, the person might be missing their appointment, can’t figure out what the fuck to wear, and they’re burning the oatmeal, but I don’t believe these things are happening because the person is dead inside during these times.
Maybe they’re in the middle of daydreaming a story into existence that would melt someone’s heart. Maybe they’re creating associations that could solve problems that’ve never been solved before.
Maybe they have conflict management skills that could turn two enemies into friends. Or the kind of compassion that could help someone see themselves in a new empowering way.
I think it’s important to realize that behind every lagging skill is an applied skill. It just might not be what’s needed for the task at hand. And maybe it’s not a skill that’s currently in high demand. But maybe it should be.
Having all the ducks lined up in a row doesn’t serve any good purpose if the ducks are hollow and miserable inside. Yes, improve skills—communication skills, executive functioning skills, etc, but goodness, please don’t executive function out a person’s natural gifts.
-JLK
