A story about a land where grown-ups never grew up, from Feed It to the Worms, a collection of very short illustrated stories for small children and their grown-ups.
The Land of the Grown-Ups that Never Grew Up
I went on a field trip to this land where grown-ups never grow up.
They still look big and hairy and run banks and drive cars and make phone calls but trust me, nothing else about them is normal.
As soon as we got there, 10 or 15 of them surrounded the bus. They were climbing through the windows and shouting, “What did you bring us??!!”
My teacher smiled politely and told our class to get in a single file line and we headed into town.
We visited the gift shop and the owner was having a meltdown at the counter. He was pulling his hair and crying because we were touching his merchandise. “Don’t touch that candy,” he kept yelling.
“But I was going to buy some,” I said.
“It’s mine,” he cried. “NOT YOURS!”
“But… I thought this was a store!”
He stomped his foot and another grown-up ran out full force and I thought she was going to straighten this whole mess out but instead she tried to bite me!
“Stay away from my friend or I’ll cage you!”
“But . . . I was just trying to buy some candy!”
“Stop talking!” she screamed, and then she put her fingers deep in her ears.
That’s when my teacher whispered to me, “Don’t forget, sweetie. We’re in the Land where grown-ups never grow up.”
“Oh yeah!” I said, and I laughed.
When it was time to head back to school, a bunch of the grown-ups wouldn’t get off our bus. A few of them were pretending to steer the wheel and one was smearing the bus driver’s face with what might have been paint.
My teacher didn’t know what to do.
Thankfully, I had some pennies in my pocket so I said, “Hey guys! Who wants a penny?”
They all raised their hands and shouted, “Me me me!”
And so I tossed the pennies out the bus door and as soon as the grown-ups ran for them, our bus driver stepped on it and we zoomed home.
“I don’t think I ever want to go there again,” I said to my friend.
“That makes two of us,” he said.
The End.
