When we’re neglected as kids, there’s a good chance we’ll neglect ourselves.
It’s not the behavior of ‘neglect’ that’s inherited. It’s the reason behind it.
While our parent was out looking for the approval and love they never received, and left us alone, we also began the search for who might give us the validation, approval and safety that we were longing for.
And the search begins for a center outside of ourselves, bc we have no orientation inward to see the immense capacity we have to give these things to ourselves.
The thing we inherit is the idea that we’re intrinsically empty. Which of course isn’t true. It’s just that no one ever ‘saw’ us, so we didn’t know we were really there.
And then we grow into adults, disappointed that we’re STILL surrounded by people who aren’t willing or able to give us what we really need.
Until at some point, we finally begin to recognize that WE are actually who we need. And who we are is centered inside of us. In a space we’ve rarely inhabited. And we discover that our being is alive and waiting for us to be with it.
And so we reorient ourselves inward, and our awareness of ourselves begins to deepen and even surprise us, and we begin to give ourselves the validation and encouragement and safety we’ve been longing for. Because we finally get that we’re worth it.
And maybe we suddenly turn around and notice that our children have been right there, wondering if we see the magic of who they are.
And we smile bc we do see them now, and we let them know that who they are matters so much.
And an old cycle stops churning in favor of a new cycle—one that honors the fullness of our being.
-JLK
