Box of Bad Guys

What would you do if you had a box of bad guys? I’ll tell you what I did. Nothing.

Well, I kept it under my bed. And I looked at it at least once a day. And I wanted to open it, but I was afraid of what I’d see. I was afraid of all those bad guys and I was afraid of what they’d do to not only me but to the people I loved.

And I didn’t want to tell anyone about it because I didn’t want anyone else to open it up and get hurt either. You never know what a bunch of bad guys are capable of. Especially a bunch of bad guys who’ve been shut in a box for a really long time.

So I kept it under the bed. And there it stayed, for a lot of years. Until I had a boy of my own, who found the box one day. And he brought it to me because it said Do Not Open, and he said, “Daddy, what’s in the box?” And then he said, “Daddy, why’s your face so red?”

I could hardly talk. The last thing in the world I wanted was for my boy to open this box and see a bunch of bad guys flying out and doing whatever horrible thing they were gonna do. So I yelled, “Don’t open it!!!” But it was too late. He opened the box. And there, before our very eyes, were a bunch of bad guys. Except they were really old. And they were just lying in the box on their beds with these long white beards and bald heads. And I said, “Wait a minute. Are you guys bad guys or what? All these years, I was afraid to open this box because there were bad guys in here!” And one of the guys yawned and said, “Yeah, Sonny, I know. We were bad guys. Really, really bad guys. But now we’re just old and tired guys. All our bad ideas and bad feelings have worn away. And now all we want to do is rest and think about things. So can you please close the box back up?” And me and my boy, we looked at these old guys and nodded yes. “Of course. We’ll close it back up.”

“Great,” they all said. “And put us where we won’t be disturbed again.”

“Alright.”

And so we put the box in the basement. And no one ever opened it up again.

The End.

-JLK