A metaphor for understanding blindspots…
I am very nearsighted. And when I’m home, I hate wearing my glasses. They’re uncomfortable and they don’t work well for the work I do, which is mostly looking at stuff close-up.
But even though I’m aware that I don’t wear my glasses and can’t see well, I still judge the cleanliness of my house based on what I see without my glasses.
When a person comes over with their glasses on, or with vision that works well to see far, they can see that my house isn’t as clean as I imagine it is.
I, however, don’t realize that they can see what I don’t see.
And if, out of kindness, they say to me, “Hey, need help with the housework?”
At first I might be like, “What do you mean, I just cleaned this morning?!”
If I know them well, they might smile and say, “Are you wearing your contacts?”
At which point I might grab my glasses and feel that uncomfortable blush-inducing feeling: “Oh my god, you saw something about myself and my life that I didn’t see!? I’m mortified!!!”
But, if the person has some good communication skills based in empathy, they might laugh and say, “That’s so hysterical! You ought to write something about this!”
And with this, I don’t feel the need to defend myself or feel bad anymore, bc they’ve created me as still having skills in addition to the blindspots I didn’t know I had.
With good communication skills and empathy, we can point out each other’s blindspots from a space of being each other’s champions, as people who genuinely want each other to thrive in full awareness.
-JLK
