I was in my 11yo son’s room while he was talking with a few friends online. They were watching something together and a dad entered the screen. And one of the boys said, “My dad died.” It was so soft, almost invisible, but yet there it was, sitting like a boat in an ocean all alone.
I waited to see what would happen. And no one said anything. Then my son pressed mute and told me what happened. “I’m scared of saying the wrong thing,” he said.
“There is no wrong thing to say. Just dowse it. See what comes up for you.”
He unmuted. “I’m sorry that happened. I’m sorry your dad passed. That’s really sad.”
“Thank you,” the boy said.
It wasn’t perfect. But it was something. And something was enough to keep him company in that boat.
When I used to hear people say, “Express yourself!” I thought they were talking about expressing yourself as a performer or as a writer, or expressing your ideas and talents and beliefs.
And while this is true, expressing yourself is also noticing when someone drops a little clue that they need support, and instead of not being sure what to say, or walking away, to let your heart be heard by saying, “Are you ok? Not sure what’s going on, but it sounded like you might need some support. If this is the case, please feel free to reach out.”
-JLK
