A Pigeon At Heart

Once, there was a man who had a secret. A pretty big secret. You see, even though he looked like a regular man, inside he was really a pigeon.

He’d known he was a pigeon ever since he was a little boy. But he kept the secret all to himself, all through school, and even as he went on to become a famous attorney who earned the respect of attorneys everywhere in spite of his strange manner of prosecution, which involved jutting his chin out into the air again and again.

But every night, after he returned home from work, he closed the door to his apartment and did pigeon things: he walked like a pigeon, made noises like a pigeon, even ate his food like a pigeon. But what he really wanted to do, more than anything else in the whole entire world, was to spend his afternoons in the park with other pigeons.

But . . . he was too scared of the consequences. After all, he did not look like other pigeons, which meant he would attract a great deal of attention if he were to behave like a pigeon in public.

But one afternoon, on his way back to the office after lunch, he passed the park, and there they all were—the pigeons—in all their glory. And something came over him . . . an overwhelming joy that was just out of his control. And he realized he couldn’t simply pass by like he always did. He had to join them. Just for five tiny moments. Just so he could be himself for once in his life.

So he entered the park and sat on a park bench, and in a matter of minutes, they all hopped over, as if they’d been lifelong friends. And at that moment, he felt so happy he no longer cared what anyone else thought. So he took off his suit jacket and began strutting along with the other pigeons around the park. And for the first time in his life, he felt at home.

Meanwhile, the other grown-ups in the park were busy averting their eyes, because that’s what lots of grown-ups do when they see something different that they don’t understand. They looked instead at familiar things, like their newspapers, or the ground. But the children at the park were different from the grown-ups. When the children saw the man behaving in ways they’d never seen before, they became curious and decided to try it out for themselves.

And pretty soon the man had a parade of little children pigeoning behind him, all of them jutting out their chins, pecking the air around them, and laughing. It was the best day of the man’s entire life.

The next day, the man went back to work, as usual. And after lunch, he decided to visit his feathered friends again at the park. In fact, from then on, he visited the park every day. But just as the man feared, there were consequences. And it wasn’t long before the man received a memo on his desk asking him to join his colleagues in the conference room.

In the conference room, he was greeted by somber faces. “We heard from a client that you’ve been strutting around the park like a pigeon, pecking bread.”

The man’s face turned red from embarrassment. Someone had found out who he really was.

“You’ll need to tell us the truth . . . Are you a pigeon?”

The man felt scared. But he knew in his heart it was time to stop pretending. “Yes,” he finally said. “I am a pigeon. I have always been a pigeon. And I always will be a pigeon.”

His colleagues were visibly upset. “But . . . how can you practice law and . . . be a pigeon?”

“The same way I always have,” he answered.

And even though these grown-ups knew that nothing had really changed about the man, they refused to look at him the same way.

Then, several weeks later, the man was being interviewed outside the courthouse after winning a big case, and a woman yelled, “Hey, that’s the guy who’s been strutting around the park! That man is a pigeon!”

The news reporter gasped. “Is it true? Are you really . . . a pigeon?”

Cameras began to flash right in the man’s face. But as frightened as he was, he knew he had to tell the truth. “Yes,” he finally said. “It is true. I am indeed a pigeon. And I always have been a pigeon.”

And though the world knew in their hearts that nothing had really changed about the man, they refused to see him as anything but a pigeon.

Newspapers mocked him: “Are we to take the word of a pigeon?”

Even people around their dinner tables mocked him: “Come on, that guy has no business being an attorney. It’s insane . . . like the end of civilization!”

And before long, the man had his license revoked.

But instead of feeling sad about not working, the man realized he now had enough time to spend every day in the park with the pigeon population! In fact, he was so happy he decided to write a memoir so that maybe the other grown-ups might finally understand him. It was called Birds of a Feather, and it became a bestseller. Not only did it earn the love and respect from people all over the globe, but it turned out there were other grown-ups who were also pigeons at heart, too. And they flew far and wide to join the man at the park. And there, they all lived happily ever after.

The End

—JLK