Once Upon an Upset: Illustrated Stories, Insights and Reflections to Help Parent Our Children While Reparenting Ourselves
“★★★★★ Beautiful book in every way...
This is one of the most thoughtful and unique books I’ve ever encountered. Filled with short stories and powerful illustrations, this book spoke to me on every page. As someone who is trying to reconcile my past with my present, the author helped me process my emotions while carving a way forward. I felt seen and understood, but also like I was speaking with a friend. I find myself constantly coming back to Once Upon an Upset to re-read a story or just for some comfort when I’m down. This is not a casual read, but it is a compelling one if you’re trying to learn how to reparent yourself while trying to parent your kids. Kudos to the author.”
Once Upon an Upset is an illustrated collection of stories, insights and reflections to help parent our children while reparenting ourselves, based on my own personal experiences with healing that I’ve shared on my Facebook page and podcast over the past few years.
If there was a single theme of the book, I’d say it’s about examining the toxic voices that so many of us internalized from our families of origin and learning to choose for ourselves which messages are healthy, and which are not.
Some of the stories are for kids (or, the younger versions of ourselves), some are memoir, and some are essays about how to understand and find compassion for the reactive behavior in ourselves and each other.
A lot of the pieces are about how to communicate-to-be-understood in adult relationships and about my own personal challenges and insights trying to parent my tween differently than I was raised.
The book is 450 full-color pages with over 200 illustrations, and l've designed it as an easy-to-read magazine of sorts, something a reader could pick up in a moment of overwhelm and find a little relief.
*For a limited time, every book is shipped with this 3” x 1” magnet:
“This beautiful book is overflowing with stories rich with humor, pathos, and grace which share an incredibly important teaching: that compassion, kindness and connection are the greatest gifts we can give and receive. Through these stories and illustrations, Jessica shows us that the strategies which so many people had to develop to navigate difficult childhoods contain gifts within them that can allow each of us to find our own happily ever after. This book is a treasure!”
– Kirsten Lundeberg, psychotherapist, Certified Internal Family Systems Therapist Lead Trainer, Internal Family Systems Institute
“Jessica should be appointed our nation’s family therapist in residence. Using story telling, drawing and graphics, she tackles a myriad of universally experienced emotional challenges. Her tone is respectful, relatable and clear. This book is to be read and reread and used as a reference guide for the navigation of life. It is an invaluable companion for parents, and for children, of all ages.”
– Madeleine Smithberg, Emmy and Peabody award winning co-creator and original executive producer of The Daily Show/Host of MADINTHEKITCHEN
"It is beautiful, honest, raw and real and so incredibly helpful for anyone and everyone. Honestly do yourselves a favor and check out this wonderful book, it’s like a lovely hug.”
–Kristy Forbes, Autism and Neurodiversity Individual & Family Support Specialist
“This book will take us to all corners so we can parent ourselves and our children with new narratives. Jessica works with us in this honest and deeply personal exploration of how our children lead us to explore our own selves and hopefully parent our own children in a more connected and reflective way. Filled to the brim with essays as well as pull out quotes and illustrations Jessica has the ability to sum up complex issues with humour and emotion. This book will take us through all of it and help us feel safe enough to reflect and ask those important questions about our own selves._
–Eliza Fricker, advocate & consultant for PDA, autism and learning, and author & illustrator of many books, including the Sunday Times Bestselling title Can’t Not Won’t.
Brave insights, powered by love!
I’ve watched the arc of Jessica Kane’s creative expression unfold over decades in many mediums, from paint & drawing to the written word & book-making to sculpting & figure-making to music & performance. What I find astonishing is how consistent and distinctive her voice and intellectual inquiry remain throughout the twists and turns of her journey. Once Upon an Upset deploys all that creativity to share courageously compassionate content of practical value to just about anyone.
Somewhere along the lines, things go off the rails in most families. We’re taught to hide the pain and challenges inherent in our own formation. Jessica shines light in the corners we’re conditioned to avoid.
These corners are where old reflexes, useless in the present but hard-wired nonetheless, live in hiding, waiting to spring & pull us back into ancient quandaries. This book addresses it with generous hard-won wisdom. I recommend it highly for anyone of any age struggling with their own past in their present home life.”
–Chris Rael, American musician, singer, composer, and songwriter; founder and leader of Indo-pop band Church of Betty
“I’m reading one entry a day. It joins three other books in my life that I read over decades of time that seemed to enter my life at exactly the right time. The Tao Te Ching, Be Here Now, and The Choice Is Always Ours. An ultra-fine addition!”
–Lach (Award-winning author of “Langdimania", Writer/Presenter for BBC Radio 4, Founder of the global music/art movement known as Antifolk)
“An absolute treasure of a book, sorely needed in today’s world. Jessica is a master of metaphor, weaving parables that will have you grinning and nodding in delight. For anyone who wants to understand the human condition and learn about themselves with humorous and informative insights. The art is poignant and fits perfectly as well. This needs a place in every home!”
-J.R. Becker, author of the Annabelle & Aiden book series
What readers are saying:
“★★★★★ Beautiful book in every way...
This is one of the most thoughtful and unique books l’ve ever encountered. Filled with short stories and powerful illustra-tions, this book spoke to me on every page.
As someone who is trying to reconcile my past with my present, the author helped me process my emotions while carving a way forward. I felt seen and understood, but also like I was speaking with a friend. I find myself constantly coming back to Once Upon an Upset to re-read a story or just for some comfort when I’m down. This is not a casual read, but it is a compelling one if you’re trying to learn how to reparent yourself while trying to parent your kids.
Kudos to the author.”
“★★★★★ A Personal Bible on Authenticity...
This is one of the most thoughtful, well-written, beautifully illustrated books I’ve brought. The stories, accounts and messages are so honest, touching and relatable. Within the first few pages, the account of What I Learned About Anger, had me undone. So many moving moments, vulnerability and profound wisdom is contained within this books pages. The book value is HUGE, in terms of page length, content and cost. It’s visually gorgeous, insightful, compassionate and comforting. A wonderful balance of the authors path in experiencing the emergence of their true self and walking out their authenticity as an individual and parent. The amount of personal work required to write a book like this is inspiring. Simply superb!!”
“★★★★★ Beautiful and thoughtful...
I found the stories in this book to be so relevant in my life. The stories help view situations with a different perspective. Life is about emotional connection and this book centers on managing emotions and connections.”
“★★★★★ Life changing...
When we realize why we are reacting the way we do, we can truly change our lives. The writing of JLK has made a huge difference in mine, especially when it comes to parenting. This is a whole lot of awesome, a tremendous value, and you should buy it right now.”
“★★★★★ Inspirational...
A few pages into the book and it’s hit on many levels. The author explains life in a way that provides encouragement, peace and understanding. Wish I could say it better how great this book is.”
“★★★★★ A work of art...
The beautiful art work and quality colorful pages speak for themselves, but they are icing on a cake that is nothing less than a breathtaking philosophical masterpiece. The stories and reflections in Once Upon an Upset have become a go to inspire my morning pages. These beautiful anecdotes are sometimes witty and heartwarming, often emotionally challenging and always full of brave insight and humility that connects people with the human race.. Jessica sets up conflict and immediately goes to the core of real solutions, powerful solutions that can be applied to whatever may be facing the reader. Once Upon an Upset is now in my morning reading rotation with the essential Rumi, and the writings of Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius. I cannot fully express what this book means to me.”
“★★★★★ The book I wish had been around when I was young!!
As someone who struggled for many years from childhood trauma and the desperate need to keep those emotions buried as deep as possible, I can honestly say I wish I had the gift of having this book many years ago. Even after a three decades of therapy and now being an avid self-affirmation advocate, I found so much value within the pages of this book. I have chills now as I type this. It is never too late to benefit from the self-reflection and healing that this book offers. The insights and illustrations are spot on! If you are a visual learner like me, you will resonate strongly with the words and illustrations that help you conceptualize things you could never quite bring up for yourself. If you are someone just learning how to self-reparent or if you have had years of therapy, there may be something in the book that can help you. I could feel the author’s deep desire to impart her wisdom on a subject that everyone can benefit from exploring further. Whether you had a great upbringing or suffer still from the effects, this book is definitely worth your time and effort to explore and learn more about yourself. This is a treasure!! Thank you, JLK!!! ❤️ ”
“★★★★★ Fantastic book to enhance social emotional wellbeing...
I only wish this book was available when I was growing up. What a tremendous treasure of a book to not only help children, but to heal the wounded child inside adults and guide parents as they support their children through challenges. Highly recommend this book! Can’t wait to hear more from this author! ”
“Amazing book, so much more than l imagined. It’s beautiful like an art filled coffee book, deep and filled with information like a textbook and riveting like a memoir.
Truly happy | ordered it and looking forward to discovering every page.”
“What a cool one of a kind, relatable, gentle, well-written and designed, and entertaining work!”
“This is such an important book! Thank you!”
“Opening to any page feels like landing on a nugget of introspective gold. I almost just want to read a page a day to give myself time to process the words and imagery. I foresee purchasing extra copies to give as gifts. 10/10 recommend!”
“It’s a great book, beautifully written, and insightful. I personally feel those who have not been through similar can glean a good understanding of those who have. Highly recommend.”
“I absolutely love love love this book!”
“I am absolutely floored at how much information is in this book! And how well it is designed, with lots of great drawings and small sections (as you said, somewhat like a magazine!) It is a brilliant design, super creative, unique, and user-friendly!”
(460 full-color pages, Softcover, 7x9”)
—Available now to purchase—
It can be really hard to let go of upset feelings. But when we carry around our upsets, they can get in the way of all the fun things we’d really like to do. In The Boy with the Heavy Suitcase, a boy carries around a suitcase full of upsets—until his friend helps him figure out a better way to handle them.
“The Boy with the Heavy Suitcase succinctly conveys the powerful impact of trauma on mental health and behavior.”
—Dr. Stephen Porges, author of The Polyvagal Theory
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"This short but insightful story will get you thinking, regardless of your age. It did me!"
—Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D., Originator of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)
What readers are saying:
“This illustrated parable is so helpful in teaching kids how to reframe and, ultimately, let go of their “baggage.” It’s also a nice reminder for adults, too. Really well done and the illustrations are lovely.”
“Ms Kane takes the abstract concept of the hurt we “carry” with us and uses the metaphor of the suitcase to dramatize our power to accept or reject those inheritances which we do not want to hold or keep. Conveyed with simple words and realistic, appealing illustrations, both adults and children will appreciate this creative and sensitive book.”